dynigirl

I made a list.................

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:59:43 GMT

.................. I checking it twice.

Nope it is not a Christmas list, but a list of things I need to do, finish, beg, steal or borrow in time for my birhtday party on Saturday. After a mild panic that I wouldn't get it all done, and offers of help from friends. I then wrote the lists and ticked things off, so I am on a roll and all will be done by Saturday. :)

I got tagged...

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:06:08 GMT

Meme
So I got tagged by </a></b></a>mudrat , and according to the rules:

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.

B) Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

Erm, I think everyone I know here has already been tagged.

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
My phone
Washing drying on the airer, inculding my nasty work tops
An empty pint glass
A Bottle of contact lense solution
An oragarmy swan

2. What is the last movie you watched?
The Reader - This afternoon in fact. I liked it.

3. What are you wearing now?
Black jeans, a burnt orange top and I am wrapped up in a warm blanket as I am cold.

4. What's your occupation?
Revenue Manager for a conference centre

5. The best thing to happen to you as of late?
I have a week off work starting in 5 days time

6. Do you consider yourself a good friend?
I'd like to think so, ask m friends

7. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?
honest

8. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Its not really an obsession but I am in to Heros at the moment.

9. What was the last thing you ate today?
.Vegetable crisps, or as my friends who I was with like to call them Pot puri

10. What would your perfect day consist of doing?
A relaxing wake up, and time spend with friends, I am not too fussed what, just time together catching up, supporting each other, making each other laugh.

11. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Here, the BBC news website, online banking and a friendly place to chat

12. What was the last thing you bought?
A round in the pub including a bag of pot puri

13. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing apart from the heater ticking, but in the cd player is We started nothing by the Ting Tings

14. What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
Too much

15. What was the last CD you bought?
Only by the night by Kings of Leon

16. What is your favourite weather, and why?
Sunny

17. What is the last book you read?
Quiet Ugly one morning by Christopher Brookmyre

18. What is the one single wish for life?
The be content, happy, to love and to be loved

19: What is your biggest regret in life?
I try not to live by regrets, like heilun_coo I regret how some friendships ended

19. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
Nothing too poiniant just; "please, please could you concentrate and do your work properly"

20. What's one of your favourite movies?
Kill Bill nomally ranks up there as one of my favourites

Rainbows

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 18:46:59 GMT

Your Rainbow

Your rainbow is shaded red.

What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You appreciate energetic people. You get bored easily and want friends who will keep up with you.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

What a difference a day makes

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:38:31 GMT

What a turn around a day makes *sings slightly out of tune*

On friday I headed home for the evening and had a good catch up with candleshoe and heilun_coo for the evening. I headed back quiet early to see a couple of cars. After the daft salesman didn't realise he had the keys for the cars I had arranged to see we were about to leave, when he ran over and said I have them! Twit. I test drove the car, my housemate who used to be a mechanic checked it out. Today I bought it, I collect it on Thursday. This evening surpirsing my insurance company re-instated my policy and gave me a refund. I guess less boy racers have ford ka's opposed to fiat punto's. I am not sure I understand the resaoning behind cancelling the policy and making me re-instate it, either way it is done and I don't have to try to find another policy. It is such a relief to have it all sorted.

My computer is working much better, I didn't loose the files I thought I had. A fiend is going to get some more RAM so that it becomes even whizzer.

Is it the weekend yet?

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:39:50 GMT

Friday was quite a stressful day. The first conference I was looking after was in, I issued a very detailed function sheet that gave lots of information and lots of requirements. The only bit that was missing was the technical info as I hadn't dealt with that, apart from costings. But it should have all been in order as someone from conference services had been liasing with the client, he knew what they wanted. He was meant to be at work to meet them and set it all up. He had left me no details and wasn't at work. The reason he wasn't at work was so that he could take his brother in-law to the airport. His brother in-law is the operations manager therefore what he says goes, well in his head anyway!!! Intermingled with this I was having a battle with the insurance company to ensure that I got a hire car by the afternoon. Eventually they agreed and I got a car, they paid for a hire car to start that afternoon as the standard one couldn't be arranged quick enough due to their delay at the begnining of the week. That in itself was not without its excitments! In the taxi on the way over a motor bike had an accident in front of the car. We stopped and helped the man, called an ambulance the police etc. The hire car company stayed open to wait for me.

The weekend was lovely, I spent time with candleshoe and my Mum. Oh I now have two hire cars, the extra one the insurance company arranged on Friday and the standard one I received on Monday! I did tell the insurance company on Monday they could arrange collection. They called today to say they are ready to settle they just need a few more bits of information from me tomorrow and I could have an offer by the end of the day. Only draw back is that I then have the give the hire car back within two days. I have got a few quotes today for hire cars which seam quiet reasonable for a week. I am also busy looking for cars. I really don't care what it is, as long as it has a small engine and goes. Busy busy busy.

candleshoe and I get to see heilun_coo on Friday before she heads off on holiday. Our catch ups in the pub are the new evolved girsl night. Yay.

The downs continue

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:27:43 GMT

Well Saturdays excitement, although that is really not the most appropriate word, made up for Fridays dullness. I will not complain about things being dull again, I will take a month of dull days over Saturday no hesitation or questions asked.

I crashed my car again. Yes again, I seam to have a good knack of doing this, on my dull days I will start wishing not to have this skill. Again my car is likely to be a write off, the second car is quiet badly damage, the third had minor damage.

My indecisiveness didn't help filling in the insurance form, I always think they are trick questions, not designed to find out what happened but what they don't have to pay out for. I am scared that I give the wrong answers, that I misinterpret the questions. I have submitted the form and there is nothing I can do about it now, but that doesn't stop me worrying and being paranoid. I don't fully remember what the police said to me, which doesn't help at all.

My emotional response is probably an over reaction, either way it is not helping my state of mind.

.

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 11:48:44 GMT

Its been a confusing week full of ups and downs; Monday I was apprehensive, Tuesday was full of frustration and tears, Wednesday was full of laughter, Thursday was productive and Friday was dull. Monday at the doctors he suggested one last step to come of meds, so I am taking one everyother day for a month.

I am invoking the three day rule on deciding whether to move jobs. The three days rules has helped me make many big decisions in life. I am usually very indecisive about big things, and small things, ok everything. I have to shut the menu in a restaurant, firstly to let the waiter know I am ready to order, but mainly so I stop reading and don't change my mind. Sot the three day rule really helps. Basically I have to make the same decision for three days in a row. If I change my mind the three days starts again. It means by they time if finally make a decision I have thought it over and am committed to the outcome. I have extended it in the past to five days, but three is usually enough.

I was going to make a pro's and con's list, but I am not sure which way is pro's or con's, so its more a should I stay? or should I go? list.

Should I stay...
I know my job it is easy, I can do it tired, hungover, I can go in late and my boss does have a clue how to tell me off for it. I am settling in this town. If I move back certainly initialy will be living with my Mum not sure if I want to be nearly 30 and living at home again.

Should I go....
I am bored, the work doesn't excite me at all, it doesn't challenge me. I feel like I get no recognition for the work I do. There is too much crap in the way of real work. I am settled in this town.I miss my home town. I'd quiet like a payrise who wouldn't, which I am not going to get staying where I am.

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:05:34 GMT

Dull dull dull, thats what my past few weeks at work have been. I have been excited by helping candleshoe find a venue for her wedding.

I am going to the doctors on Monday to come off my medication. I am not100% convinced I am ready, but I think I am as ready as I will ever be. I hope it is more a phycological barrier than a medical need that makes me dubious. I have dropped my accupuncture appointments down to once a month, but I think I will plan one for two weeks time, as a safety net.

Oh yeah, I came out to a friend this evening, in a very subtle way, not sure if she even noticed. Maybe she will never say anything, maybe she will. She is apart of a group of friends I have made through church, I can never tell quiet how a bunch of Christians will respond. I am really starting to feel settled in this town, considering a new job without moving. But as my core group of friends here I need to be sure I don't get a negative reaction, that I can truely be myself. Although they know me, they don't know that I am gay. I don't actively hide it, but I guess it doesn't even enter their heads.

The two possibly don't go together too well, I had not told them I had been depressed, my struggles and medication. This evening I told them that too. In the hope that the next few weeks will not be horendous, but be a new begining, a stable time, a happier time, a settled time.

TMI Tuesday, oh make that Thursday!

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:56:01 GMT

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?

Yes, there have been times when I really do enjoy my job. I don't think that there arent enough people who truly enjoy their job

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?

Live to work, yup I'm a workaholic

3. How many hours do you work a week?

About 55

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?

er, no but I do remember spending hours looking for a small green teddie called greenie because I didn't want to go on holiday without it.

5. Have you ever used food during sex?

No

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?

Chocolate, but there is nothing guilty about it

Pinky and perky

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:34:44 GMT

Work continues to go well. I'm still slightly suspicious. As S. pointed out, I am quiet rightly suspicious. I have adjusted to this med change surprisingly well. The week I knew would be crap, was, but after that it has been fine. I feel like I am missing my spark. I thought it was just me but candleshoe has noticed too. I guess it is there, hidden altittle. Its almost time to decide if I want to come of meds all together, while the going is good, or to give it another couple of months. I am tempted both ways, I need a list, I shall write a list.

More haste, less speed

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:26:19 GMT

My days are being quiet productive at work at the moment. This week is a big catch up week, reception are keeping to their side of the bargain. So I am still working longer days, but next week it will easy off.

I have booked my "how not to speed course", now I'm thinking the time I booked and how it is not the best time for me. I booked it as it was the only weekend slot between now and the end of September, which is when I have to have done it by. I had to re-arrange weekend plans to do it. I am now thinking that I should have picked an evening session. I could have left work at 3.30pm and got there in time. However there is actually no point having these thoughts as I can't change the time, unless I want to pay for the course again. Why didn't I think these things before I booked?

3 of a kind: Mark 2

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:28:52 GMT

Mark two or more to the point times two

To day I;

Spilt a glass of water by the power of my foot in my sleep
Lost a contact lens
Dropped my laptop and nearly killed it
Left an hour and a half late, sure to dropped laptop
Got delayed for an hour on the motorway
Spilt half a can of diet coke over me and the inside of the car.

I am going to try out a new work schedule, I haven't told anyone at work just in case I don't manage it. I will ty to work 8.30am - 6pm. So that even if I am late out, I still have an evening left. Also it might help me get a better sleep pattern, otherwise I finish work at 7.30-8, get home, eat unwind and it is about 10pm. Then I start doing things I need and it is 1m before bed. So I am then tired the next day. I dare say it is a vicious circle I need to break, so fingers crossed.

3 of a kind

Fri, 09 May 2008 21:13:28 GMT

My day was going quiet well, I had my overtime approved, I got quiet alot of work done. Then I met the GM for my 5 minutes. She can not or will not rise my salary any more. I ran a duck over on my way home and got flashed by a speed camera. So six months in this job is all I will be doing, six months looking for a new job.

Bring on the weekend.

5 minutes

Thu, 08 May 2008 20:33:43 GMT

5 minutes that is all I ask. My wish was granted, well kind of. The GM has agreed to see me tomorrow for 5 minutes. She goes on holiday for two weeks on Saturday. I know that I won't get the answer I want but it will raise my concerns and make it clear I won't do all that work for that small amount of money. Na ah.

Is it home time yet?

Tue, 06 May 2008 23:28:01 GMT

That was the thought that was going through my head for most of the day today, that and what would happen if I just walked out. I can't do two peoples jobs by myself for much longer. I am tempted to make a few fuck ups so you notice, but you wont and it will still be my fault. Although, I couldn't have planned today's disorganisation if I had tried, twitface did that all by herself. She wont ask me for help, so I what can I do. Guess what, I still get part of the blame as I am part of the process that as a whole went wrong, even though my bit didn't.

I have given up on my accupuncturist, he fell off the planet for a while and is now moving practices. I can't wait any longer, I need some treatments, I need the calm that it brings me, the perspective and the energy. I sent an email off to someone more local this evenings, who does treatments in the evenings, so fingers crossed she is nice and we get along. I have a doctors appointment next Monday. I am due to drop my medication by a level, having delayed it two months ago. Last week I was feeling very positive about it. Now I am not. But I need to do it, it is time, I can do it, I atleast have to try.

My sleep although was improving, I was getting the right amount, in more regular intervals, at regular times, has started to get worse again. I know it is because I am stressing about work.

Fri, 02 May 2008 22:13:08 GMT

I'm fucking fuming you think I am going to do that much more work for that much money, you have to be fucking kidding. Plus have you not got the balls to to tell me but think you can do it via someone else and think I will just go "oh that a nice payrise" fuck that. Grow up and pay me a decent wage.

Do you want to throw something at her? I do.

Hotels and more.......

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:12:46 GMT

Yesterday we got our C1 licence, that means that we are a fully fledged hotel now, not just a conference centre. This greatly expands where our business can come from, primarily my bookings. By Friday we will be loaded onto several websites for bookings. It is all very exciting. My work load is going to double in the next few days. The has been some progress with an assistant for me, we have narrowed it down to one person, so are just negotiating a start date.

What is making it more pressing is that I am on holiday in less than 3 weeks. Someone needs to be able to cover my work. There has been little progress with my job and promotion, but this certainly should push it along. I will ask the GM again tomorrow.

Magic Number

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 19:44:19 GMT

50 is the magic number this month, or more the point £50. I left £50 at the cash point, I had to spend £50 on a "free" windscreen. Luckly extra shifts at work are also £50 a pop so I will be doing a few of those this month.

Job update, I managed to speak to my GM before I went on holiday, which in itself is a miricale, she said "ops I thought you were a reservations manger" for various business reasons she wants to wait a "few weeks" before putting my promotion through. I agree with most of the reason, and would rather wait afew weeks and it be approved. So we'll see, I'll pester her at the end of the month.

Doors

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:45:43 GMT

The month has got better as it has gone along. A friend said to me that some doors do not open until you are ready for others to shut. I had decided that I would leave work, maybe move home, maybe not, I would live where the job was right. I was ready for that door to shut, to move on. Now that door is open again, but it is opened to a new thing.

The previously mentioned manager is not coming back *phew * Things have taken a different turn at work, my boss is leaving and they are planning a re-structure, which includes development for me, but I have only had some vague conversations with the GM. It sounds good but I need to tie her down to some specifics, I don’t want to be pushed into conference management. I am happy to learn about it, but it is not my specialism and I don’t want it to be. Until I have some answers I don’t want to decide that is what I will go for. I was very definite that I wanted to leave, but this sound like it will be a good opportunity to improve my revenue management in a setting and product I know. Which I the long term will set me in good stead to move on in the future.

As agreed I have been back to my GP, we previously discussed dropping my dose in the spring. I didn’t feel ready so I will go back in 8 weeks. He said that I probably was ready. I said that there is a difference between being ready and knowing you are ready. When I dropped initially in September I felt ready, things were going well and it felt like a good step. The beginning of this year wasn’t too great, I struggled to cope to get through. Dropping didn’t feel like an option. I now have two months to get ready, I feel I am doing that already.

I am settled here, I think I want to stay. I have spoken to some friends at church about joining their home group. My housemates say they want to me to stay. So the month started with closed doors and has finished with open doors.

The quickest way to make me leave

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:28:33 GMT

The quickest way to make me leave is to bring back that woman. She drove me made when she was my equal, evening more when I worked in the same office. She could do the job she was doing then, why oh why do you think she could do the next level up. If you think I am sticking around to find out you have another thing coming.

I am going to work at another site tomorrow. To spend the day with their reservation manager, to see how they divide their work between reception and reservations. It should help my case when I propose what work I want to hand back to reception. So fingers crossed tomorrow will be a productive day.

Still hunting

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:07:11 GMT

Well the job hunt continues, although it had slowed down abit, partly due to a very inept agency. I have given it a bit of a kick start this evening, by apply for another job and registering with another job search web page.

I have been feeling alittle unsettled recently. I can't put my finger on what is causing it, which doesn't help in trying to fix it. I am back to not getting to sleep very easily. I sleep well when I do, but I never feel like going to sleep, it not that I am not tired, I am. I just lie there if I try to sleep before I drop, to sleep that is.

Its very nearly holiday time soon, just four weeks, its my first full weeks holiday since last June. I have no one to cover my job, so I will have to work my ass of the week before I go, and the week after. Plus I need to train someone, I have no idea who, to atleast do some stuff while I am gone.

Forgive me LJ, it has been two months since my last confession!......

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:24:12 GMT

I didn’t do the traditional round up of last year, back in January. Mainly because I didn’t have a great January. I generally felt quiet run down, work about really not enjoyable, other stuff that I couldn’t put my finger on, I could keep going, but it is now in the past.

Things started to change on February 1^st, I had my first job interview with an agency, I met one of my best friends other half. It was a good day, felt like a new beginning, it was my new year. I have since had an interview with another agency and one with a company. The last one was really hard work and left me with a really uneasy feeling, so I won’t be disappointed if I don’t get that one. I mistakenly thought I could use the job to move home, but can’t well I could but not as easily as I thought. If nothing else it has made me realise that my job search should be centred at home not here. Whereas before I thought it didn’t matter.

I had an extra acupuncture treatment in February, which helped. I felt quiet boosted by it, for a while. At the moment I am constantly tired, yet I can't get to sleep early at all, which means that I have little motivation to do anything.

In general I feel better in February, than I did in January, but still not great but better. I guess it is still progress. I am going away with a couple of friends this weekend, which I am really looking forward too. I like the seaside, almost more in the winter than the summer.

Chirstmas cheer

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:05:18 GMT

My Christmas cheer had not yet appeared this year. I have had little to no inspiration for Christmas presents. Tonight I went to a carol service, this has spurred me on, I have sung carols therefore it must be Christmas, right?

In the pub after church we wrote a list of what would be in my pub, the dream pub that currently has no basis in reality. That list is currently in the back pockets of my jeans. Which are now in the washing machine. *rollseyes* This is what I can remember;

Quavers crisps, and tomato snaps
Real beer
Many ciders
Pork scratching
A circular pub so you can walk all the way around, which also means there are many different bits to the pub
NO KIDS
No darlecks
An old man in a crevat
OAP meals on Tuesdays
Real food, eg Steak and kidney pie, but no jus or coulis
Darts and pool
Large selection of non-alcoholic drinks
Near a church

Some of the above I can see happening and some I don’t, but it was fun to do. I will add to this if the list has survived the wash and I have missed any thing.

Lost and Forgotten

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:32:24 GMT

It was holiday time again last weekend. candleshoe and I went to see a friend who moved to Scotland earlier in the year. I think I should name the weekend, Lost and forgotten, as I managed to lose a contact lens, forget my book and my pj's . Luckily Specsavers saved the day and I could see again by the evening. We collected the book I left at the first hotel on the drive back and the pj's are being posted to me. Ops.

I had a lovely few days. Saturday was spent caching up and nipping into Falkirk to specavers. The Sunday was child free so we headed into the country, stopping at Loch Lunaig and Loch Lomond. Monday we headed into Edinburgh for some shopping. Tuesday we went for a heilun_coo usual walk with the kids and went to see the hairy higland cows, who were hiding.

Each night was girls night that we used to have each week, wine silly tv and chat.

As I can't quiet work out how to post pics, nip over to heilun_coo where they have been posted.

Rainy days and Monday's

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:26:24 GMT

How is it possible that I never get any work done on Mondays? Why do I even plan anything for a Monday because it never happens? I want to boycott Monday's. Do you think it would catch on? No I didn't think so.